11/7/10 5:01PM

the sunday morning smell
reeking fiercely
of the deepest circle in hell,
faces of eternity
bonded together
like blown glass -
swirled and colored
sin physical art.

awake, alarm clock
blood and coffee,
better than creamer -
digging graves
on the sabbath,
heel gripping to death
grip and dig
shovel to earth.

the smell of bodies
on sunday morning
(god, the stench),
life decaying in imagination.
the damned.
the fucking damned.

my foot exposed
from the grave,
footless, i stumble
staring at my own burial,
shovel and intention
in hand

i etch on stone,
"here, i mean nothing.
here, i mean everything.
this is not my stopping place."
not even the last words
of the world, my world

i've died more than once,
i'll die again.
same shovel
and pen to tell.

11/4/10 10:44PM

waves crashing hard
north side navy pier,
repeating patterns
spraying the cold
stale air -
the mist
and that bright wheel
speaking in revolutions;
LSD creeping of slow drivers
and unfamiliar destinations -
i grip the wheel
like there's someplace better to be,
a lane change
losing the city behind me
with a turn.
before the wind
got angry
there was a conversation
about god and hatred,
they came together easily.
i laughed it off
looked to the empty seat
and for some reason,
questioned why garbage on pavement
is considered to be litter.

fake out

poem in
tiny
space,
small creative
etch-
ing
the nice words
the fine words
the sufficient
word
S.
art house
play afro jam beat,
my foot
is the only
synchronized rhythm
the laptop
typing is all off;
white noise in
between
the beats,
fake apples
fake lives /
our dark side, the
internal side, the
non-spoken.
startled by
fake windows,
to look
through
is paint.
no street
no traffic
no absurd parent
with a thousand
dollar stroller,
just the other
side of
Nothing.

pink and gray – for katie

she stares above the cloud

platinum

and lining the familial distance;

painters pallet

hosting platform for brush,

stir and echo . . .

stroke and resonate . . .

torture the smile -

leave hesitant hair

shading the eye from night complete

the pretty head             tilt

submission, there is something

else not lost ,

not taken over, not ambushed.

an amalgamation

time and sight,

it works that way day and night.

there was no recognizable temperature,

no flaw in the air;

comfortable . . . tiring.

the L rumbles,

SHAKES the inside of my car

giving vibrato to scriabin

and in good time.

it settled,

the train passed and . . .

there it was.

knee high stiletto boots over fishnets,

a mini trench, ass high,

dark brown, lengthy hair

to blend,

pushed up tits for show.

it was a moment,

nothing could really be said

or commented on at the time.

the weather nothing to argue about

and this woman was

as outstanding a whore i'd ever seen;

an easy presumption to make

in mid september

at irving park and sheridan.

 

 

roosevelt and 1st

two girls cry

at a bus stop,

feet shuffle

to embrace -

the sun light

hits the windshield

bright eye,

i blink,

they cry.

there's a hospital,

behind . . .

it's lonely where everyone

can see you.

stoplight. shit.

they're still on my right

in front of hospital;

ten fingers each,

ten toes each,

all sweating tears

affected -

ten new fingers

play the beethoven sheets

and the windows are down,

they hear

with two ears

each

and cry

outside of hospital

fruity pebbles

i, occasionally, read nutrition facts

and see the fat lady,

avoiding her.

in aisle 2 . . .

i avoid the awkwardly

thin girl in aisle 5

in aisle 7

they stare each other down

THIS HATE

in front of fruity pebbles . . .

spilling blood on a rainbow

at the register

they were both ahead of me

and hating each other

i grabbed a pack of gum,

destroyed the fat and thin

words from my mind

and their hatred

and hummed a melody.

10/23/09 2:24 am

watching legs in air,
patterns of nonsensical
and momentary charge
powered by illogical
hand tracers
followed in spot light.
clearing the table
and placing the bodies down,
naked and hot,
glittered and frayed,
shredded at the edges of vanity
in the midst of a narcissistic clusterfuck
at midnight in the garden.
somewhere in the sky
there are drawn fake meanings to life,
things that only make sense
as a fucked up distortion
of history,
a ruined natural sense of logic
extorted to a blown proportion;

escapism can be a delightful
re-entry back in to reality

pleasant blues - chorus 4

sweating off the puzzlement,
trip black tarmac
in between parallel
line of car;funny how people look
at cars without racism,
i mean, they're different colors too,
but put people inside
and all the difference has been made.
jesus knew something we didn't
DARK skin
WHITE skin
YELLOW skin
skinskinskinskinskinsinksinksinksinksinksink
itallcomestogetherinthesameplacewhetheryoulikeitornot

pleasant blues - chorus 3

my stomach rumbled,
not by what i ate,
not by what i did not eat -
50 cents for carbonation
without the cure of a beer,
the sugar slipped good though.
clapping my hands
at myself
for no good reason,
but that i have lived:
in the mirror
i saw imperfection.

9/22/09 8:22pm

a chance came
drifting by the eye
like one of those
tape worms that
falls easily
down the sun gazed
lens lifting passed
the indiscretions
of what left me
light studded last night.
something exists
in what i don't
care about,
a desperate necessity
for the uncomfortable
boundaries, the walls
that make our poverty
so unique to loneliness.
there is a window
to my right
that breathes heavily
with every passing
bit of a god.
the strings that hide
all that reveals the passing
is being tossed around,
remaining shown
and kept in public.
on the sidewalk
i am unoriginal
and look ordinary,
but my cat
paws at moths
and, at least,
keeps me entertained.

8/3/09 10:23pm

down by window sill,
cat sit silent cry
with empty street
and blind headlight -
a deer in the middle
of the block
making nice
with the pavement,
smooth and occasionally
bumpy;
blind and the seeing
spilling over
the same shit
and fucking up all the same.
no one drives,
just parked in a
mixed cloud
desperate for an
eye to alert to make clear sense.

tucked away

hospital walls
crying, screaming
things that capable mind
does not grasp -
can't wrap around it,
this imaginarium
that i seem to handle so well.
i am me and
and i am breathing creature,
fire out of mouth
feeling pulse every bit of the way
on an airplane
breaking the clouds -
breaking the childrens bubbles
about santa claus, the easter bunny
and jesus.
tuck it all in a cave
under fluorescent light,
flickering with inconsistency
hiding the figures on the wall
where the ancient and the present
are meant to collide,
our old self and new realization
somehow hidden behind
that flicker of light
and shadow in the corner

fractions

find rhythm point, random meanings can be found,
follow foot take two lines
rat-tat-tat, doo bow painted with a hue of dusk
stick floor right spot – and guised glorious to be;
foot follow hand, foot; convoluted wordings
swallow, breath swell and patterns falsify intensity
drum in hand as true understanding.
pattern in life make other language spoken
el momento perfecto. in perfect time
momentum beauty, is same translation
legs grace in air and angel glide
smooth. extend forth and faultless
head righteous where imperfection exists

in the middle
past confused meaning,
two monks meet in a garden.
one makes smooth gestures
of water upon various plant,
the other sings nothing
to a slow present breeze.
they meditate
they live,
in calm there is a rhythm –
steady and forming
peace exists.

Bedside midnight hair rising,
worse than a fucked up
zodiac reading
left from the strippers pole:
draining the bottle
for something that
was never meant.

11/30/99

note: i wrote this for a friend my senior year in high school while observing her through the window in the choir room and she recently recovered it.

She sings with
her arms hidden behind
her backside without
confidence, ever so delightful
Shifting her feet
forth and back eventually
lifting her hands to a
resting place on the
smooth stomach of
her coke bottle-like definition;
even carrying a hood
on her shirt just in case
she doesn't feel like
being noticed today.

But why hide a smile,
a face, a nose,
endless eyes like that
behind fabricated blackness;
bring it out, all the way
across the fields in high-
step strides with the marching bands
and great voices that
never said a thing
for our future nations.
Her face in a shadow
sitting in corner houses
where nobody hears her,
but she is still
never louder than beautiful.

What an ending that would be -
going out in glory that
everyone will smile at
nine feet deeper than usual,
and one foot away
from unusualness.

Put it behind you, Glory,
because beauty is not
to be ashamed of or disgraceful.

car cut air
razor knife
sharpening ,
gliding pre-death
circles from
side to side
never connecting,
never touching.
my hair touched,
graceful figure
and other.

cold music backround,
fly in air -
death and PETA
mean something.
tolerate one
and not the human

the line / the break

the sweat
swelling down
the thick of my spine,
gathering more as it goes
and leaving less on the trail.
it builds again as the heat heightens.


my body,
gaining strain
with each movement
and losing rest with all time
as i am unfound and found in mourning.


a loss,
pain in muscle
not used and turned
degrees beyond normal use . . .
it turns -
out of pattern;
marking body territory
in reservation
where hell breaks mold,
finds unnatural elements
in the firmament
and breaks the lines.

conformity finds mistake -
individuality finds sad beauties;
vignettes shaded in movement,
clouded in exhaust.

i / they - me ; us
riding solidarity in separation,
panting through it all.

banana + god

the ground was still wet,
the clouds were gone
and it was all like new again.
my car tire looked flat,
it wasn't-
i got in
stopped at the 7-11
a police officer on break
said i was the healthiest guy
he'd ever seen in there
because i bought a banana.
what would he say
if i were in a crack den
and sterilized my pipe first?
i would definitely be the
cleanest fucker in there,
i assume.

this wagnerian tenor on the radio
sang in some all wood
german theater in bayreuth,
his voice swelled in my head -
ringing loud and resonating
like i were still in a dream
among the gods.